Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Don't work for me

Dear would-be public employee:

This is just some friendly advice. I know you have a lot of options when it comes to where you accept employment and I think, perhaps, you should know that coming to work for me might not be the best idea. I feel crazy telling you this because I'm guessing you'll accept my advice, and we'll be left with some of your lesser-qualified fellow candidates for this position.

You see though, since you work for me, I think you should know that I don't really feel like paying you that much. If you worked for some other people with their private funds, you could make a lot more. And we don't really do that other stuff - company picnics or fundraisers or whatever - like the other guys do. See, we feel you should be GRATEFUL to be able to serve in this position. In fact, all the charity you need to worry about is the charitable donation of your time and energy for less-than-market wages. We're not part of the market. The market is for other people.

You should know too that if the budget goes south or anything else goes wrong, I'll probably blame you for it: for taking all the money and living off my dime. I may also use you as an example of why we need more money, to give it to you, but at the first sign of trouble, I will jump all over you and demand you give much of it back.

I hope you still want to work for me. I'll act like whatever I learn about you is the biggest shock to me and toss you in front of the bus at all available opportunities.

Thanks,
The Public

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